risk<gain

It seems like it's been ages since I sat down at my computer to write something other than notes about communication theory. I feel so engaged in my classes and assignments right now that I haven't made a lot of time lately to reflect here on my experiences. And as usual, life has been busy and full of many ups & downs. I have met so many new and incredible people here that bring me new perspectives everyday, and I find so much happiness just getting out into the world and hearing what they have to say.

But it can be difficult to feel comfortable in a new place when nothing is familiar to you. I feel this way when I'm challenged with something as silly as taking the bus to a new place and having to trust my gut and maps to get me where I need to go. I can say with complete confidence that every time I have challenged myself by going out of my comfort zone, I never regretted it. I generally end up striking up a conversation with someone somewhere along the way or finding a cool hangout (like the outdoor diner I went to last week- amazing place!)

I must admit that not every day has been easy. Sometimes when I wake up I have to ask myself if it's actually true that I moved here to Australia alone, not to mention am a young woman of only 17 who has already began her university studies. I struggled a lot with wondering if perhaps I was "just too young", or simply not ready for the things I had taken on so quickly. Sometimes we need to take a step back and remember how far we've come.  It's easy to get caught up in what other people and the media portray as success that it warps our own understanding of it. I'm grateful for good friends and family who remind me that I have all the tools in need to be successful and thrive. A close friend of mine always makes a point of reminding me three important things: 

remember who you are, 
you can do hard things, 
make good choices. 

They are three simple statements but in 12 words sum up some things that maybe we all would benefit from thinking about more often.

I'm so humbled when I interact with anyone who shows me a little piece of their soul. Transparency is so valuable and so underrated. I understand the need for privacy as much as the next person, but I also see the value in laying all my cards on the table. Building real relationships with genuine people means that you often have to be transparent and willing to be vulnerable in situations. The risk can be worth the gain. You have to be willing to talk about the things that people don't like to address or speak on. Some of the realest people I've met in my life are the ones who really open up and let others into their heart. I've always admired their ability to do this and watch how it ties people together and creates amazing relationships.

I want to share with you something that I wrote nearly six months ago that I was reminded of today:

(talking about relationships)
"Forget about interests, jobs, sports, looks, all of that initial stuff. I see now that what is most important is their soul. All of these other things will change. But someone’s soul is there to stay. Find someone who you can talk openly with… not about sex and trivial matters… but instead your deepest thoughts, questions and confessions… 
someone who, if they asked you, you would let ride around inside of your head for the day just to hear your uncensored thoughts... 

those are the kind of people that we should all want to find."

- K

5 Great Things (In a Terrible, Crappy Monday)

I can't normally say this... but my Monday was especially crappy. I felt like a zombie all morning and I walked around feeling so un-human it was unbearable. But by 10PM, I could count 5 great things that had come out of my terribly crappy day.

1. Coming home to a clean room. (My mom must be smiling!)

- but seriously - 

Walking in the door this afternoon to a nicely made bed and an organized space made me feel a whole lot better. It helped me remember that even if I didn't do anything else right, at least I had made my bed. Which is surprisingly comforting. If you don't believe me, try it. Also, check out this incredible speech which inspired me to start doing this.

2. My family. 

I feel pretty darn lucky to be able to get to chat face-to-face with my family using FaceTime and through phone calls nearly whenever we want. 25 years ago when my mom was here, she didn't have the luxury to call home when she needed her people. Hats off to you, technology, you have saved me from some serious tears.

3. Country music. 

Now you may not feel the same love for this genre that I do, but there is something about how Ian Tyson and Paul Brandt describe my home in their lyrics that makes me feel a little closer. Convoy and Alberta Bound have hit my Top 25. Now all I need to do is remember to close out of iTunes before I open up my laptop in class. Needless to say, my classmates are fully aware of my musical taste and don't appreciate it too much. 

4. Our strength team.

While I have described us as "slightly offensive" in the past, I must admit that there's a little more to our club than that. The energy is great, the people are great, and it makes me feel great. I wrote a post a while back about wanting to be a part of something that would re-motivate me to lift and to really love it like I once did. I think I've found it and I can't wait to see where it will take me.

5. My projects.

I have trying to immerse myself in as much public speaking as I can- and my classes have really supported that desire for growth. With my project on Random Acts of Kindness ready to go, now all I need to do is share it with my class & hope that it catches on and grows to be something much bigger. I'm grateful that I get to do what I love!

Depending on where you are, you are either just waking up or heading to bed. If your Monday has yet to start, I hope you can make it a great one. As my mom would remind me, "Shine bright!"- and go your best. If all else fails, think of five things that you can be grateful for and let that be enough. 

And when you wake, remember this:

Yesterday ended last night. Today is a new day and it's yours.

Lend a Hand (On Your Way Up)

We all want to stand out.

The world is so incredibly different than it once was. Having a university degree, for example, does not guarantee a good career in the way that it once did. In order to compete with every other person whom has similar qualifications, you must find a way to set yourself apart from the rest of the pack.

I have never believed that my ideas would remain consistent. We are continuously evolving in everything including how we understand and perceive the world around us. Each day we are challenged with how we will handle the new information that is thrown at us. I know that I have been very wrong in the past and that I will continue to be wrong in my thinking. I think that personal growth is something that should be celebrated, and we should not fear speaking out simply because we are afraid for being judged on our past beliefs. 

All of the knowledge in the world was only discovered because someone decided to go for it 

& they got it wrong, time and time again, and then eventually- after an incredible amount of research and study, a theory was developed. And even after that theory was published... it was likely proven wrong. If it wasn't proved wrong, there are probably people today who are trying to find a reason why it should be! It is only natural for people to question everything and try to pick it apart- after all, this is how things improve. Don't be afraid to think outside the box. Criticism is everywhere. 

It took me a lot of bravery to begin this blog, because I was worried what others might have to say. I was worried that I would risk missing opportunities, such as jobs from future employers who might read it and dislike the way that I choose to express my ideas.

I don't desire any power except the power to have a strong positive influence on the lives of others in such a way that it improves their quality of life. 

I have no intention to save the human race, but I do want to create this idea that people are kind at heart, because I have seen the effects that this kind of thinking can have. Seeing is believing, and believing makes me feel happy and passionate about creating that kind of belief in others.

Quality > Quantity. Always. 

In today's world some people are so focused on money and power that they actually believe in money more than they believe in the human spirit. Money talks, and it truly allows us to get nearly anything we want. However, people seem to forget that the person on the other end of the deal is in fact, a person. We have lost touch with what it means to have meaningful relationships with the people in our lives. Technology has truly changed the way we communicate, and with it has come the sacrifice of simplicity.

Arlene Dickinson really nailed it when she said, "Be the person who instigates meaningful conversations and then listens for diverse opinions to learn from."

If you invest in relationships with others, not only will you benefit from the emotional aspects of said relationship, you will likely be more successful in your business goals, too. Not to mention, the more people you surround yourself with, the more opportunity you have for personal growth. Every single person on this planet knows someone, who knows someone, who can help you move upwards in that pyramid you have been trying so desperately to climb. 

So kindly ask for a hand up and give someone else a hand, too. 

People rush to climb higher and higher and are willing to do outrageous, immoral things to do it. But if you would just look around, you would see that everything you desire can be yours if you slow down and understand that you have all the resources around you to achieve it honorably and with the help of others. Any momentum a person gains dishonestly and by burning other is bound to come back to bite them. I want my "mark" to be something that future generations can look back on and be proud of. I don't want to stand for something that is fake. I want to stand out because I was a leader who helped develop other leaders and created something incredible and I did it honestly. 

No matter what, I will be satisfied with the knowledge that I did something I was passionate about. I don't want to live a life where I am always waiting for the weekend to start. We're only given so long to live. Do you really have time for that?

These photos are from May of 2012 when I was nominated and won the Leaders of Tomorrow Award through the City of Medicine Hat. It was an honor to have this kind of recognition at such a young age (with Sheila Donner, and my parents Dione and Shane Todd).

Good Medicine

Someone really special to me once told me this:

"Every day that I am upset about something, it's a day that I lose off my life. I can never get those back. So now that I'm old, I don't have the time to be upset anymore. It takes away from living."

At the time, I took this piece of advice and I tucked it away, because I really wasn't ready to face what she meant.

In light of recent events, I feel more than ever now that forgiveness is a crucial part of growth. Moving across the world to a community where I must build and decide my own experiences, it is simply too difficult to carry the burden of such trivial worries!

Last night, a good friend and I spent the evening chatting over a bottle of wine. And for those who were lucky enough to witness it, you saw my Snapchat story where I was laughing uncontrollably. In the midst of drunken confusion, I accidentally posted it for everyone to see.

and I'm not embarrassed...(because laughter turns out to be good medicine)

After I saw this morning that I had posted the video, I realised how much lighter I felt after our evening. Another influential woman in my life used to encourage the idea of unloading your emotional backpack. She helped me understand that we naturally carry around these feelings with us, and that they will weigh heavily on us if we let them. She encouraged me to unload those feelings by confronting them, and by trying to understand where they came from. Forgive things... and if you can't forgive it, make it right and let yourself move forward.

I've always envied people who appear to live as if they truly have no worries.... It almost seems like "if they were any more laid back, they'd be sliding along the ground!"- J.S.

It can be very difficult to push aside feelings and not let them cloud your mind from what really matters. People who handle these things well had to learn these behaviors from somewhere. I feel disappointed for the days that I have lost because I spent them being bitter about issues I wouldn't even remember a month later. I will never forget the day that I had a teacher whom I highly respected call me bitter. I was ashamed that I projected that kind of energy, and it really made me consider how what I was feeling inside reflected outside, too. A person cannot expect to become completely laid back just by desiring to be, but I think it is important to remind yourself often that you must try. If we spend our time thinking about trivial things, we never have the time or energy to think about the bigger things- the things that matter!

This year, I want to spend more time out and about experiencing things with new people and exploring new ideas and less time feeling so troubled by tiny incidents. I don't want to lose a single day.

Week 1 (Don't Sit There)

I have some important lessons to share.

1. It is a toastie, not a grilled cheese (not to worry-they are even better).
2. Tim Hortons does not exist here, and neither does a $2 coffee.
3. Hayfever...I am pretty sure that my re-appearing cough and sore throat might be a product of the vegetation outside my window and all the stuff in the air. Luckily, allergy pills are easy to get and hopefully my body will grow accustomed soon.
4. I miss the seasons changing and bubble baths. A lot.
5. The strength club is slightly offensive, heaps of fun, and extremely helpful. I am really grateful to be a part of it.
6. Red wine!! Wine!! (but glasses are breakable-when you are tipsy, plastic is always a good idea!) I feel like I've missed out because no one in my family likes wine, so I have some catching up to do.
7. Studying is real.... But it's even better when you're studying something interesting and you are passionate about it.
8. Public speaking is everywhere (and I am a little bit excited about that)! I joined a class on persuasive writing and speaking, as well as a public speaking workshop, and next Tuesday I am going to check out Toastmasters. (thanks Anne and Richard for inspiring me!)
9. It is totally acceptable to spend your time between classes on your deck studying in your bikini. After all, this is Australia.

10. Lastly, don't sit there. At least before you look. If you live in Res, be advised that wearing shoes is not optional, especially late at night and early in the morning. You never know what kind of mess you may encounter....

Also, bugs. They exist and they really seem to like toilet seats.

10. Bond is a great place to be. People are kind and friendly, and there is every resource you could ever desire. They really want you to succeed and give you the tools to do so.

Cheers, K

(Don't) Talk to Strangers

A woman who looked to be about 60 approached me today and asked me for directions at the train station.
Of course, I had no idea where to go... And I had no idea where I was.
But she sat down beside me anyway and proceeded to tell me this:
...

"I met my husband when I was 14. At 17, I had my first baby. I didn't even know where it would come out. People didn't talk about their bodies and they were so ashamed of speaking about sex. I didn't know anything. And then at 18 and 20, two more babies.

I'm 78 now and no one believes me. I was 55 when I got divorced and I never had a life before it.
He controlled every piece of my life and I didn't know anything about the world. I go to discos now and I have fun and I live. He's still alive but we don't talk, and the family is cruel. I wish I had someone to share my life with now. I live in a beautiful house but I'm happier now, even with no one to share it with. I want to communicate with teenagers that you don't have to go out and drink and smoke to live. And you should live. Don't act like an old lady, because I acted like an old lady when I was young and now I have to be young now, because I never had the chance to.

I have a friend that thinks she's worthless and stupid because she's kind and she giving, but people have used her. So I'm going to see her. And I'm going to show her that she is a wonderful person. Women need to know this. They need to know they are strong."

I think we need to start telling our kids to talk to strangers.

Listen Up

Truly. Listen to everyone you meet- let their words trickle into your thoughts and stay there for a while. 

I don't believe that people are fully good or fully bad. Even those who we look up to most have their flaws, and those that we despise have words of wisdom waiting to be found. The world's worst criminals have elaborate schemes and understandings, just as some of the most respected people keep secrets hidden from society.

I try to learn something from everyone I meet. I truly believe that everyone has a story waiting to be told- whether it be something philosophical or not, it is something we must discover through listening to what they have to say.

Sadly, we are very caught up in what has been classified as "the like and share generation", which seems quite accurate. I have to remind myself to put down my phone and listen to the people around me rather than always being focused on trying to connect to people in another time and place. This is where we find things that have been manufactured to become believable and acceptable to us. We depend on the approval of others and find satisfaction in knowing that we are accepted by peers. I don't think this is necessarily wrong- it is simply human nature. I wonder if we would find more joy in life if we learned to steer ourselves more by our own directions rather than following the paths of others.

This is where listening comes in- filtering the good and the bad. This is where we find our independence. Don't block out the "bad" people simply because you think they are bad... Use the things that they can teach you as a tool to prevent you from making the same errors. Some of the best lessons I have learned came from people that no longer have a place in my life. People can add to your life without needing to be a part of it. Next time you are in an uncomfortable situation, or around someone who makes you uncomfortable, rather than tuning out, tune in and consider what you could be learning.

I enjoy school but I accredit more of my understanding about the world to the people around me- my family, friends and peers. I have always been more interested in what people have to say and how their perspective differs from the person beside them. I think it is important to develop your own understanding through filtering the thoughts and beliefs of others. I used to believe that I was inconsistent in what I believed, but I see now that I am constantly learning and expanding that knowledge. You shouldn't be afraid to change your understanding- it simply means that you are growing.

When someone speaks to you, listen. Look them in the eye and smile. Ask them questions. The world is losing it's human touch- we rely more and more on the internet to fulfill our need for contact. Write a letter when you can, and mail it. Invite your grandma out for lunch more, and remember that our grandparents are the last generation that understands how the world turned before the new age took control. It's important to understand this-they are the realest people we know. They don't make them like that anymore. Try to tune out of social media and tune into the real world around you, the one that is happening in this moment. Don't miss out. Life is so much better when your fingertips are in someone's hand and not on your mobile.

- K