Good Medicine

Someone really special to me once told me this:

"Every day that I am upset about something, it's a day that I lose off my life. I can never get those back. So now that I'm old, I don't have the time to be upset anymore. It takes away from living."

At the time, I took this piece of advice and I tucked it away, because I really wasn't ready to face what she meant.

In light of recent events, I feel more than ever now that forgiveness is a crucial part of growth. Moving across the world to a community where I must build and decide my own experiences, it is simply too difficult to carry the burden of such trivial worries!

Last night, a good friend and I spent the evening chatting over a bottle of wine. And for those who were lucky enough to witness it, you saw my Snapchat story where I was laughing uncontrollably. In the midst of drunken confusion, I accidentally posted it for everyone to see.

and I'm not embarrassed...(because laughter turns out to be good medicine)

After I saw this morning that I had posted the video, I realised how much lighter I felt after our evening. Another influential woman in my life used to encourage the idea of unloading your emotional backpack. She helped me understand that we naturally carry around these feelings with us, and that they will weigh heavily on us if we let them. She encouraged me to unload those feelings by confronting them, and by trying to understand where they came from. Forgive things... and if you can't forgive it, make it right and let yourself move forward.

I've always envied people who appear to live as if they truly have no worries.... It almost seems like "if they were any more laid back, they'd be sliding along the ground!"- J.S.

It can be very difficult to push aside feelings and not let them cloud your mind from what really matters. People who handle these things well had to learn these behaviors from somewhere. I feel disappointed for the days that I have lost because I spent them being bitter about issues I wouldn't even remember a month later. I will never forget the day that I had a teacher whom I highly respected call me bitter. I was ashamed that I projected that kind of energy, and it really made me consider how what I was feeling inside reflected outside, too. A person cannot expect to become completely laid back just by desiring to be, but I think it is important to remind yourself often that you must try. If we spend our time thinking about trivial things, we never have the time or energy to think about the bigger things- the things that matter!

This year, I want to spend more time out and about experiencing things with new people and exploring new ideas and less time feeling so troubled by tiny incidents. I don't want to lose a single day.

Week 1 (Don't Sit There)

I have some important lessons to share.

1. It is a toastie, not a grilled cheese (not to worry-they are even better).
2. Tim Hortons does not exist here, and neither does a $2 coffee.
3. Hayfever...I am pretty sure that my re-appearing cough and sore throat might be a product of the vegetation outside my window and all the stuff in the air. Luckily, allergy pills are easy to get and hopefully my body will grow accustomed soon.
4. I miss the seasons changing and bubble baths. A lot.
5. The strength club is slightly offensive, heaps of fun, and extremely helpful. I am really grateful to be a part of it.
6. Red wine!! Wine!! (but glasses are breakable-when you are tipsy, plastic is always a good idea!) I feel like I've missed out because no one in my family likes wine, so I have some catching up to do.
7. Studying is real.... But it's even better when you're studying something interesting and you are passionate about it.
8. Public speaking is everywhere (and I am a little bit excited about that)! I joined a class on persuasive writing and speaking, as well as a public speaking workshop, and next Tuesday I am going to check out Toastmasters. (thanks Anne and Richard for inspiring me!)
9. It is totally acceptable to spend your time between classes on your deck studying in your bikini. After all, this is Australia.

10. Lastly, don't sit there. At least before you look. If you live in Res, be advised that wearing shoes is not optional, especially late at night and early in the morning. You never know what kind of mess you may encounter....

Also, bugs. They exist and they really seem to like toilet seats.

10. Bond is a great place to be. People are kind and friendly, and there is every resource you could ever desire. They really want you to succeed and give you the tools to do so.

Cheers, K

(Don't) Talk to Strangers

A woman who looked to be about 60 approached me today and asked me for directions at the train station.
Of course, I had no idea where to go... And I had no idea where I was.
But she sat down beside me anyway and proceeded to tell me this:
...

"I met my husband when I was 14. At 17, I had my first baby. I didn't even know where it would come out. People didn't talk about their bodies and they were so ashamed of speaking about sex. I didn't know anything. And then at 18 and 20, two more babies.

I'm 78 now and no one believes me. I was 55 when I got divorced and I never had a life before it.
He controlled every piece of my life and I didn't know anything about the world. I go to discos now and I have fun and I live. He's still alive but we don't talk, and the family is cruel. I wish I had someone to share my life with now. I live in a beautiful house but I'm happier now, even with no one to share it with. I want to communicate with teenagers that you don't have to go out and drink and smoke to live. And you should live. Don't act like an old lady, because I acted like an old lady when I was young and now I have to be young now, because I never had the chance to.

I have a friend that thinks she's worthless and stupid because she's kind and she giving, but people have used her. So I'm going to see her. And I'm going to show her that she is a wonderful person. Women need to know this. They need to know they are strong."

I think we need to start telling our kids to talk to strangers.

Listen Up

Truly. Listen to everyone you meet- let their words trickle into your thoughts and stay there for a while. 

I don't believe that people are fully good or fully bad. Even those who we look up to most have their flaws, and those that we despise have words of wisdom waiting to be found. The world's worst criminals have elaborate schemes and understandings, just as some of the most respected people keep secrets hidden from society.

I try to learn something from everyone I meet. I truly believe that everyone has a story waiting to be told- whether it be something philosophical or not, it is something we must discover through listening to what they have to say.

Sadly, we are very caught up in what has been classified as "the like and share generation", which seems quite accurate. I have to remind myself to put down my phone and listen to the people around me rather than always being focused on trying to connect to people in another time and place. This is where we find things that have been manufactured to become believable and acceptable to us. We depend on the approval of others and find satisfaction in knowing that we are accepted by peers. I don't think this is necessarily wrong- it is simply human nature. I wonder if we would find more joy in life if we learned to steer ourselves more by our own directions rather than following the paths of others.

This is where listening comes in- filtering the good and the bad. This is where we find our independence. Don't block out the "bad" people simply because you think they are bad... Use the things that they can teach you as a tool to prevent you from making the same errors. Some of the best lessons I have learned came from people that no longer have a place in my life. People can add to your life without needing to be a part of it. Next time you are in an uncomfortable situation, or around someone who makes you uncomfortable, rather than tuning out, tune in and consider what you could be learning.

I enjoy school but I accredit more of my understanding about the world to the people around me- my family, friends and peers. I have always been more interested in what people have to say and how their perspective differs from the person beside them. I think it is important to develop your own understanding through filtering the thoughts and beliefs of others. I used to believe that I was inconsistent in what I believed, but I see now that I am constantly learning and expanding that knowledge. You shouldn't be afraid to change your understanding- it simply means that you are growing.

When someone speaks to you, listen. Look them in the eye and smile. Ask them questions. The world is losing it's human touch- we rely more and more on the internet to fulfill our need for contact. Write a letter when you can, and mail it. Invite your grandma out for lunch more, and remember that our grandparents are the last generation that understands how the world turned before the new age took control. It's important to understand this-they are the realest people we know. They don't make them like that anymore. Try to tune out of social media and tune into the real world around you, the one that is happening in this moment. Don't miss out. Life is so much better when your fingertips are in someone's hand and not on your mobile.

- K